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Sometimes it amazes me how most everybody seems to be growing up and moving forward while I'm still stuck, stumbling and uncertain of what's next. A lot of my friends think I've got things figured out and because I don't have the responsibilities they do --- it means I'm doing what I want to be doing. But how do I do that when I don't even know what I want.

When I was back home in the Philippines, I got to talk with some friends and some of the stuff I heard scared me. My Neverland neighbor said that he's hanging on by a thread and might be growing up soon. Another said that he's with a job that pays the bills even though he doesn't really enjoy it anymore. More of my friends are getting married and/or having babies and sometimes I feel uncertain as to whether we're still on the same page. Some are contemplating making the big move abroad and living there for good. Yeah, I'm working abroad, but it's because it's convenient. While I'm here I can delay making the big decisions that need doing.

I like me. I like my life... being a little sister with the mentality of a little sister --- I can do what I want when I want to and if I don't know what to do I can run to someone ---- that kind of thinking. But until when can I do that?